Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Is it possible for computers to eventually eliminate the need for programming? If so, what would happen to programmers?

I was tired of trying and failing.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Boston University releases statement on Alex Cooper’s allegations - NewsNation

The sadness was still there.

You are like me, then.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Something Mysterious Is Hidden Deep Beneath the Pacific Ocean, and Scientists Can’t Explain It - The Daily Galaxy

I had run out of hope.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Nvidia tops Microsoft, regains most valuable company title for first time since January - CNBC

It’s still here.

I was tired of fighting.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Don't miss the crescent moon shining close to Mars on May 31 - Space

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Is there a software or anything else where you could remove a certain instrument sound from a song and replace it with you playing that instrument instead while the rest of the instruments play?

Be who you already are.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

And the sadness?

Denver Health sees increase in people getting MMR vaccine - 9News

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s here now, writing to you.

For the first time, an external factor turns a male mammal into a female - EL PAÍS English

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.